End of Innocence -Ch3-

Cas led Sam back into the motel room; the angel had an arm around his shoulders while Sam had his arms wrapped around his chest.  He felt small, so very small as he looked up to see Dean staring at them.  Then suddenly, the warmth from Castiel's arm was gone, and Sam was alone in the room with his brother.  Sam walked over and sat down next to Dean, his eyes on the ground. "Sammy I'm so sor-" Sam silenced his brother with a look.

"Don't…apologize to me Dean.  Just don't.  I, I honestly can't believe you would do something like that.  No wait, I can and that's what makes it all the worse Dean."  Sam looked at him, his brown eyes holding the sorrow and pain that he was feeling in that moment wrapped up tightly in one single package.  His eyes returned to the floor.  "Just tell me this…do you love me?"

"Damn it Sammy you know I love you and I always will…" Dean slipped his hand into Sam's and gave it a soft squeeze.  "If it comes down to you or Cas, I'd choose you in a heartbeat, every time."

"You don't have to choose Dean," Sam said softly.  He had thought about this as he had walked back with Castiel, even though he had not talked about it with the angel.  In all honest Sam was uncertain of his feelings for the angel, but he could tell from how Dean looked at him that his brother cared for the angel.  Sam loved Dean…and was entirely willing to be in some sort of triangle with Dean and Cas…just so long as he was with Dean.  "You can…have both…" He whispered looking into his brother's eyes.  "You can have both of us…"  

Sam was not use to having large meals with a bunch of people he did not know, even more so when those people were actually demons and he, Sam, was bound to none other than Lucifer.  His eyes were resting on the ring on his finger again, his gaze was beginning to hold less and less distain for the small object and, if he was really being honest with himself, he almost was beginning to like it.  It was the current situation of being at a meal with the rest of the demons that was making him feel sick to his stomach.  Or perhaps that was the pain radiating from the wound on his shoulder; hidden beneath his black shirt, or the fact that he was positive he could actually smell demon blood coming from Alastair's direction.  What made the entire situation worse, was Lucifer had left him alone with these demons, some of which Sam was sure he had helped send back to Hell.  

All eyes in the room turned towards the door as it opened to reveal the 'Prince of Darkness' and then everyone, but Sam, stood up in greeting.  To Sam it seemed to be an extremely formal affair, like something straight from the medieval times.  Lucifer took his seat beside Sam and sat down, everyone else following his example.  The demons began to talk amongst themselves as their glasses were filled with something that Sam thought was wine, or at least he seriously hoped it was wine.  But of course he was wrong.

A glass was raised to Sam's lips and he looked at Lucifer, his eyes full of confusion.  "Come now Sam, I am certain that you need this.  Just one sip and you'll see."  That was all it took, one sip and Sam took the glass from Lucifer and drained it.  "Demon blood," Lucifer whispered under his breath to him.  Sam shot Lucifer a small grateful smile as his glass was filled again.  "It's easy to see when you need it Sam, you can't hide that part of you from me Sammy."

Just as Sam picked up the glass, Lucifer had called him 'Sammy,' no one called him that, only Dean.  "Don't.  Call.  Me.  Sammy," Sam snarled at Lucifer and the glass in Sam's hand shattered, slicing his palm and fingers.  They stared at each other; a defiant look in Sam's eyes while Lucifer's was completely emotionless.  "Please…just don't," Sam said looking away from him.  "Not…ready."

"It's fine Sam, there is no need to apologize," Lucifer said and Sam could actually hear a sigh of relief coming from the other people in the room.  "But let's get that cleaned up…  Ruby!"

The woman darted into the room and bowed her head.  "Yes sir?"

"Clean up the broken glass and get Sam another one," Lucifer said, bring Sam's injured hand closer to his mouth.  "We'll still be here for a little while longer…"

"Lucifer, I can fix his hand up if you want," Alistair offered, leaning on the table.  Sam looked his way and felt his stomach tie into knots.  Good old yellow eyes…Azazel was sitting beside Alistair and was grinning at Sam.  "It would be no trouble, wouldn't take long either."

He could feel Lucifer's eyes on him and Sam nodded quietly.  "Yes, if you could then Alistair, but let the boy eat first, I'm sure he's hungry."  With that food was brought out and set down in front of each occupant of the table.  They began to eat, but Sam was just happy to have a burger placed down in front of him instead of some strange meal that would make him want to give up meat all together.

Quietly he ate his food, listening to what the demons were saying, talking to each other about.  To his surprise they almost sounded like a normal family, almost being the keyword.  They were arguing and bickering amongst each other, gossiping.  While Lucifer talked with Alistair softly under his breath, as if he didn't want Sam to hear.  That was fine with Sam he wasn't certain he actually wanted to hear what they were talking about.

"Sam, if you're done you are allowed to leave."  The sound of Lucifer's voice startled him, but he nodded and stood up, leaving the room as quietly as he had been sitting there.  Could Lucifer actually be making an effort to have Sam feel more included, like he actually gave a damn about Sam and his well-being?  Sam rolled his eyes at the thought, there was no way that Lucifer gave a damn about Sam, no way in hell.

And all too soon Sam found himself in the bedroom he shared with Lucifer alone as a sigh fell off his lips.  He went into the bathroom and washed the blood from his hand, discovering that it was only a bunch of small cuts and one that probably could used to be stitched back together, but that would have to wait until Sam could see Alistair.  At the sound of the door to the bedroom opened, Sam was sure that that would have to wait for a while.  But to his surprise it was Alistair standing in the doorway.  "What?  You were expecting Lucifer?  Nah, he's got work to do boy.  Come on sit so I can fix that hand of yours."

There was a hint of a smile on Sam's lips when he sat down on the edge of the bed, Alistair sitting beside him.  Alistair took his head and set about cleaning the wound.  "Don't numb the pain," Sam muttered, staring at the ground.  When nothing happened Sam glanced over at him.  "What?"

"It is nothing you need to worry about Sam.  Just hold still, unlike with your chest, should you jerk your hand it could have adverse effects," Alistair said, even as he began to stitch the larger wound back together.  Sam didn't flinch, didn't move at all after so many years of fixing his own wounds, Sam was used to it.  "Azazel was watching you."

"I am aware of that."

"So long as you are aware," Alistair muttered and released Sam's hand.  "All set.  It should heal in a couple of days, and you should get some rest.  Who knows when you'll be allowed to go outside?"  Alistair winked at Sam and left the room, closing the door behind him.   

Sam lay back on the bed and stared at his hand, another battle scar to add to his collection of others.  In his heart he did not want to believe that Dean and Cas would ever move on, but there was another small part of him, that hoped they would, so they would just forget and be happy again.  His eyes closed, willing away the pain in his throbbing hand even though he had wanted it.  A small part of him hoped that Lucifer would not return to the room for several hours, he had no reason to, but then at least Sam could sleep without the demon lying beside him.

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It was a month after Sam had said that he did not have to choose between Sam and Cas even though Dean had been serious about choosing Sam, and Dean couldn't believe his current situation.  He was laying on the motel bed, Sam's head in lap, his little brother sleeping lightly while Dean was leaning against Castiel.  There was a smile on his lips as he watched Cas in an almost loving mannor stroke Sam's hair.  Dean glanced at the angel, curious.  "So mister 'angel of the Lord' what would your lord say about the sinful situation that you have found yourself in, being in a relationship with two brothers and loving them both?"  His voice was soft as he spoke, but he had a sneaking suspicion that Sam was not sleeping.

"What my Father does not know, doesn't hurt me," Cas murmured under his breath, fingers still running through Sam's hair as if hypnotized by it.  "I would not have choosen to cause Sam such…heart ache Dean."

"I know that Cas and so does Sa-"

"So do I," Sam whispered looking up at his brother and Castiel.  Dean felt a jolt of love flood through his heart as he looked at his brother.  As he watched Sam ran his fingers over Castiel's jaw.  "Such a brave angel giving up everything for us…"

"Here's to Castiel bravest of them all," Dean said with a chuckle under his voice and Cas smiled, something that Dean had not seen on his face for a long time.

Dean woke up with the distinct feeling that someone was watching him, and that he was in someone's arms.  At first his heart leapt for joy, thinking it was Sam, at least that was until he looked up and came face to face with Cas.  It felt like his heart was breaking again, but he gave the angel a small smile.  "An angel watching over me while I sleep?  Don't think I'll ever a nightmare again."

His words brought a smile to Castiel's lips.  "At least the ones that I can protect you from Dean," Cas whispered softly and brushed his lips against Dean's forehead.  "Come on, you need to eat something that is not deep fried and covered in fat."

"But that's what tastes good," Dean said with a fake whine, earning a swat at the back of his head from the angel.  "Okay then, what do we have that I can eat?"  Dean asked as he sat up, folding Cas's trench coat and carefully laying it down on the bed, the necklace Sam had given him swinging from his neck.  The strap tugged against his neck and Dean looked over to see Cas fingering it.  "Sam…gave it to me for Christmas when we were kids," he said softly and pulled it from Cas's hand, tucking it under his shirt.  There was a sad, confused look in Cas's eyes when Dean glanced at the angel again.  Dean took Cas's hand and laid it over the handprint scarred onto his arm.  "And you gave me this Cas."  

Cas squeezed his arm and stood up offering his hand to Dean, who gladly took it.  "We will find Sam Dean.  I promise you that we will find him.  Now, let's get some food into your stomach before you start whining that you're hungry."

"Way to ruin a moment Castiel," Dean muttered as the angel pulled him to his feet.  "What is there to eat?" he asked as they made their way back down and towards the kitchen.

"I think Bobby said something about getting you pie…"

That made Dean's face brighten.  "Pie?  Really?"  Dean looked around the kitchen when his eyes fell on Bobby and Ellen sitting at the small table, a pie in the middle of it.  "That better be for eating Bobby," Dean said as he sat down, nodding at Ellen.

Ellen gave him a piece.  "How are you doing Dean?"

"Imfinewhydoyouask?" he said through a mouthful of pie.

"Chew and swallow boy," Bobby said sharply, hands folded in front of him.  "Try and retain some amount of manners."

Dean swallowed his mouthful of food.  "I'm…doing better than I was.  How about you guys?"

"Stop avoiding the subject Dean."

"I'm not avoiding anything Ellen."

"Yes.  You are."

Bobby slammed his hand on the table before Dean could reply.  "Don't you start acting like toddlers, I won't have it.  We need to talk about a way to locate Sam and Dean you are going to be involved in this conversation."  Dean simply kept eating, pretending to ignore the other occupants on the room as he licked his fork clean.  "Damn it Dean, stop ignoring me, if I didn't know any better I'd say you weren't trying to find him."

His hand twitched, glaring at Bobby.  "I've been trying everything I could possibly think of.  I've called hunters, all of our contacts asking if anyone has seen or heard anything about where he might be.  Hell, I even contacted Chuck."  Dean made a mental note to try that again later, Cas hadn't known about the first time that he had tried contacting the profit only to get no answer from him.  "I'm just about ready to put up a reward sign up on the Internet just to see if we could get SOME leads."

"Dean…"

"I'm at the end of my rope and I have no fucking idea what to do next so any and all ideas will be welcome."

"Dean."

"What?!"

"We have company."  Dean paused and glanced at Cas who was staring out the window.  Dean followed his gaze and groaned when he spotted Gabriel standing outside just watching them, a smirk on his face.  "Do you want me to…"  Cas started to say but Dean was already up and out of his chair and outside, the others following him.  

"What the hell do you want you son of a bitch?" Dean snarled, fist raised to strike the angel, but was held back by Cas.  "What could you possibly want you bastard?"

Gabriel raised his hands and shook his head.  "Tsk, you're being so violent towards someone who just wishes to help you."

"You help us?  That was so funny I forgot to laugh."

"Oh would you just shut up for a second and listen to me!"

Cas clamped his hand over Dean's mouth and flinched when Dean bit down on his skin.  "What is it that you have to say Gabriel?"

"I may have an idea where Sam is."

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Cas was not sure how he had ended up alone in the motel room with Sam, well that wasn't entirely true.  Dean had insisted on going to get food instead of letting Cas go and get it.  The angel was still unsure of being in a room alone with Sam, they hadn't really talked to each other since…everything had happened.  His eyes turned to the sleeping form of Sam, the younger Winchester sleeping lightly at the table where he had fallen asleep while researching.  It looked like he was having another nightmare…

As he laid his hand on Sam's shoulder, he lightly shook him.  "Sam, wake up, it's just a nightmare."

Sam's eyes snapped open and stared up at Castiel with wide eyes.  "You're…you're alright…  Where's Dean?"  There was panic in his voice as he looked around the room trying to find his brother.  

Cas bent down and looked into Sam's eyes, trying to be reassuring.  "Sam Dean is fine, he went to go get food.  There is no need to worry; your brother is all right.  Trust me I would not lie to you."

It took a moment but Sam eventually calmed down enough to give Cas an uneasy smile.  "I'm sorry Cas… I didn't…" Cas silenced him with a finger pressed to Sam's lips.  

The angel was nervous, heart racing as he leaned forward and brushed his lips against Sam's.  It was a gentle, loving kiss and even as Cas pulled back from Sam, he was not sure that he had actually wanted to.  "You don't have to apologize to me for anything Sam."  Neither one of them spoke; the silence was only broken when a cough came from the direction of the door.

They glanced at the door to see Dean standing there with a bag of food in his hand.  "Well…guess I don't have to worry about leaving you two alone anymore," Dean said with a grin.  Cas could sense Sam relax now that Dean was back in the room, and was glad that he was able to have Sam's trust again and perhaps…something more.

Cas looked at his brother, arms folded across his chest.  Bobby and Ellen had dragged Dean back inside at Castiel's request, he wanted to speak to his brother alone and with Dean outside that would not be possible.  Blood was pooling on his palm to the point where he had to let his hand drop to his side.  "What are you doing here Gabriel?"

"Look I already told you, I have an idea about where dear Sammy boy is," Gabriel said as he rolled his eyes.  "I'm not sure if it's his exact location but I heard Dean's pathetic rant back there and my heart ached for the puppy eyed Sam and just had to help with what I know or have recently come to know."

"And what is it that you claim to know Gabriel?"

His eyes narrowed at Cas, moving to stand right in front of him.  "You do know how much I am risking by telling you this?  Should word get out that it was me who told you where it was, the price on my head will grow beyond that of Dean and Sam's."

Cas shook his head.  "Please Gabe, just tell me what you know.  We've learned nothing over the past weeks and…it's starting to get to Dean in a bad way.  Not to mention," Cas paused, tilting his head, his blue eyes staring into Gabriel's.  "You owe it to Sam to help him."

Gabriel scoffed and once again rolled his eyes.  "I don't owe Sam anything, but if you insist on me telling then I guess I'll help out with the rescue anyways.  Can't have Dean coming after me with a pointy object again now can I?"

"You're lucky I held him back otherwise he might have knocked you down."

"He can try Cas, he can try," Gabriel said and shrugged his shoulders.  "At least this way you can keep an eye on Dean more closely, you know make sure he eats things that aren't deep fried and covered in fat."

His eyes widened for a second, but his face went emotionless again.  "You were spying?  That is low even for you Gabriel."

"Hey I only did when I was sure there was no fun times occurring between the two of you.  Had to make sure that Dean was in the talking mood after all."

"You're unbelievable," Cas said and shook his head.  But when he looked back up and met his brother's gaze, a hint of a smile appeared on Castiel's lips, a grateful smile.  "I do thank you for your offer to help Gabriel, and I accept it, whether or not Dean does or not.  We could use your help.  Now…will you please tell me?"

"There's a town, about three hours drive in that metal death trap Dean calls a car if you head East.  The town…I swear there must be some humans left in that place, but it's crawling with demons, and powerful ones at that.  Now what reason might you think of for demons to be swarming over the town…and only at night did I mention that?"

"Protection…"

"Exactly my dear Castiel."

"But what…"

"Well…my sources tell me that it would be Lucifer's new bride."  At the look Cas gave him Gabe raised a hand.  "Some still believe me Trickster, easy to convince them as such."

He folded his arms over his chest, he was not fond of this idea at all, but if the information that Gabriel had provided proved to be true, then…  "Is there any way to find out for sure who this 'bride' of his is Gabriel?"

"Yes, but it's a dangerous task."

"Are you…"

"Willing to do it?  Why the hell not."  Gabriel took a candy bar from his pocket, unwrapped it and ate it.  "Figured it would be me going, I'll lay a trap that one certain demon couldn't possibly resist."

"Are you going to be reckless aren't you?"

"Cas there is no need to worry about lil' ole me.  You go take care of Dean."

"Oh no you're coming with me," Cas said and grabbed his wrist with a grin.  "You get to tell Dean what you just told me yourself.  It will earn a bit of his trust and, for you, that's a good thing."  Cas began to drag Gabriel inside the archangel resisting the entire time.  

In the back of Castiel's mind, he was silently praying that what Gabriel said was true, that Sam really was that close to them. If he were then perhaps Dean would feel a bit more at ease with their current situation.  Then again, the information might also send the elder Winchester brother into a blind rage that Cas would then have to be the one to deal with it and try and keep him calm (and not turn into a charging rhino).  Only time would tell what their next step would be, but for now…it was getting Gabriel inside and talking to Dean and the others, which would be a feat in and of itself at the moment. Please…let this be the lead that we have been waiting for, please.  Cas glanced up at the cloudy sky.  Hold on Sam we're coming.