literature

Silver Wings -SamCastiel- Ch1

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It was something that Sam did not realize how much he needed, something that his heart and soul ached for, until the opportunity presented itself.  Yet in the back of his mind, it was off limits, forbidden to him by the one person who he cared about more than anything, his brother.  So Sam had resigned himself to remain silent, uncomfortable content to sit and watch as Dean would talk with the angel.  The angel that Sam was almost positive would heal the gaping wound in his chest.

For a while he would wonder what Dean thought about his strange and unnatural silence every time the angel came into the room.  Though, his brother probably thought that was only because of Sam's apparent disappointment with angels not being creatures of entire goodness that they were not, in fact, above letting people die.  Perhaps Dean thought that it was because Sam resented Castiel for saving while Castiel could not do anything for himself, unable to rid Sam of the damned demon blood running through his veins.  If only Dean knew the Truth, knew what thoughts ran through his mind, the thought that Sam kept hidden and secret.

But a part of him did resent Castiel, even hate him despite everything that the angel had done for them, and the reason was more complex than Dean could possibly imagine.  Jealousy would flair up in the pit of Sam's stomach when he saw Dean and Castiel, and Sam hated himself for it, feeling like the pathetic little brother once again.  Sam wished that he were the one that Castiel noticed, that Castiel fought so hard to protect, but he wasn't, he would never be.  Sam wasn't 'important' to the angels, and, in his mind, that meant he wasn't important to Castiel.  It wasn't fair, Sam was cursed, as he had been since birth, and now there was nothing he could do about it, nothing anyone could do for him.

At the present moment, the younger Winchester was glad that he could only hear Dean and Castiel talking as he lay on his stomach on the bed, his wrists wrapped up in bandages that did not stop the throbbing pain that radiated from them.  Damn the ghoul, damn the two of them for sitting there and talking while Sam was forcing back the desire to grab the nearest bottle of alcohol and drain it dry.  The talking stopped, and Sam heard the sound of the door being opened and closed, before he sat up and glanced around.  He came face to face with Castiel and a frown formed on his lips.  "Where's Dean?"

"He went out to get you something for the pain," the angel said simply, straightforward, studying him with a curious and concerned gaze.  Those eyes…Sam couldn't meet the angel's gaze, and he glanced away.  "Is something wrong?"

"Let's see besides nearly being eaten alive by ghouls or dying from blood loss?  Nope nothing is wrong," Sam said, sarcasm dripping from every word he spoke, still unable to meet the angel's gaze.  "Is there something you want Castiel or are you waiting for dear Dean to get back?"  There was more of a bite to Sam's voice than he had expected to come out.

A frown graced the angel's lips, but Sam didn't see it, he didn't care.  "I was…concerned for you."  As a hand was placed on his shoulder, Sam glanced at the fingers, his eyes slowly traveling up Castiel's hand, to his arm, his shoulder, his neck, and finally his face.  "You have been acting very strange."

"Strange is a relevant term now a days," Sam said, shrugging Castiel's hand from his shoulder, shifting his position on the bed.  His mind was screaming at him, of course he was acting weird, acting strange, was Castiel just stating the obvious or did he mean something else.  "I'll ask again, is there something you want Castiel?"

"Why do you not call me Cas anymore?"

The question hit Sam like a ton of bricks and he visibly winced.  "Because you are an angel sent to protect Dean and stop the apocalypse from happening, not a friend.  A nickname is something that you give a friend."

There was silence for a moment, and then Sam felt the hand back on his shoulder, gripping him.  "Look at me Sam," the angel said in such a forceful tone, that Sam felt as though if he didn't something bad would happen.  Sam met Castiel's piercing gaze, and suddenly felt very small and very helpless.  "Is that what this is about?  You think I am here for Dean and only him?  You both are under my protection whether or not you like it.  Now listen to me and listen very closely Sam Winchester.  There is nothing I can do to prevent what is going to happen to you, it is your destiny, if it was in my power to help you I would, and I would do so in a heart beat."  Sam flinched as Castiel's grip on his shoulder tightened again.  "You are important, you are.  Not just to us, but to Dean, your family."

Sam pulled away from Castiel and backed away from him, kneeling on the bed, glaring at the angel with an accusatory stare.  "Don't give me that crap Castiel.  If I was so important to you and your so called cause, you would have killed me by now if you were smart!  You don't think I know that's what you all think?  It is, I swear it is.  You want me dead just like everyone else.  I am no better than the things I hunt and kill," Sam snapped at the angel and shook his head.  "I can't stop it, it's always there," Sam said in a low voice, his gaze turning to his wrists, the bandages wet with blood again.  "Why can't you just leave me alone Castiel?  Huh?  Why not?  Why not just associate with Dean?  Or have you not noticed I've been trying my hardest to avoid you?"

"I have noticed."

"Then take a hint!"

"You're bleeding."

"I know that."

"Let me see your wrists."

"No."

"I can make you, you do realize."

"I'd like to see you try."  The instant the words left his mouth, Sam realized it was the wrong thing to say to someone who could easily over power him.  In the blink of an eye, Sam was shoved up against the headboard, Castiel in front of him, pining him there.  He met the angel's gaze his heart beating faster and faster.  "Let me go," he hissed at Castiel, struggling to break the angel's hold on his shoulders.

Castiel just looked at him, tilting his head, as one hand picked up Sam's right wrist.  Sam tried to pull away again, only to have Castiel's grip become tighter again.  He could only watch as Castiel gently unwrapped his wrist, studied the crudely stitched up wound.  A shiver passed through Sam's body as Castiel brought the wound to his lips very lightly kissing it.  "If I could, I would heal the wounds that mare your skin because I know they cause you pain.  If I could I would drain the demonic blood from your body, to save you from yourself.  I would do anything to help you Sam."  The angel's fingers traveled from Sam's bloody wrist to his face touching his cheek softly.  "With all my heart, I would do anything to save you, to be the savior deserve, but I can't Sam."

Sam closed his eyes, leaning his cheek into the soft touch, trying to stop the tears that threatened to fall.  It felt as though everything was crumbling and falling apart into a million little pieces that he wouldn't be able to pick up.  "But, I can be the one you need."  Before Sam could ask him what he meant, he felt Castiel's lips brush lightly against his.  "I see the jealousy that hides in your eyes, the hurt the resides there as well.  You fight so hard to protect people."  Sam opened his eyes, meeting Castiel's hard gaze.  "You fight so hard, expecting nothing in return.  You are important.  You are special.  I protect you as much as I do Dean, even if you cannot see it."  Sam glanced down.  "Sam…?"

"It hurts," Sam whispered, eyes still downcast.  "Cas, I don't."  A finger was pressed to his lips, silencing Sam's words.  

"The pain will end Sam, you need rest.  Lay down, and go to sleep," Cas said in a softer tone, but still commanding, the angel's fingers quickly re-bandaging Sam's wrist.  Sam opened his mouth to say 'but,' but Cas shook his head.  "Sleep now, talk more later."  Sam's eyes grew heavy as the angel lie him on the bed.  Sam remembered seeing Castiel's face, his eyes, before he slipped off to sleep.
I support Sam and Castiel!

Okay I honestly don't know where this came from, but I wrote this for :iconpandemodia: cause she is awesome and amazing and totally turned me onto this pairing.


It says chapter one cause I don't feel like it's done. No idea how many chapters it will be.


Next: [link]


Translation
Korean by :iconth-hahn: [link]

Disclaimer: Sam, Dean, and Castiel belong to Eric Kripke
© 2010 - 2024 calceil
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