Silver Wings -SamCastiel- Ch4

If Sam had expected Dean to yell his head off then storm off dramatically, the reaction from his older brother that came from Cas telling Dean he didn't think Sam was feeling well was the exact opposite. The talk that he had been dreading with his brother didn't happen; instead Dean had told Cas to watch after him and left the room entirely. Whether or not it was a way for Dean to think, or he was going to get something to help Sam feel better, Sam had no idea what Dean was up to? Nor did he particularly care at the current moment because it meant that he was able to avoid the dreaded talk with his brother.

Sam and Cas sat in an awkward silence so thick that it could be cut with a knife. Sam could feel the blue eyes staring at him, but he didn't look up, nor did he want to see what possible emotions were in his eyes. "Sam, talk to me," Cas said sitting down beside Sam, his hand resting on Sam's knee.

"What did you mean by… I shouldn't assume anything about where I stand with you?" Sam asked in a quiet voice, glancing at Cas through his bangs. "You're an angel, you're suppose to care about us. You favor Dean."

"Dean is important to the angels," Cas told him, and frowned when Sam flinched away from his touch. "They need him Sam, but you. You are important to me." Cas put his hand on Sam's cheek and turned his head forcing Sam to look into his eyes. "And yes your brother is too. Does that matter? No. You need to stop thinking the worst, thinking that you deserve nothing when you deserve so much more than life has given you Sam."

As Sam rolled his eyes and moved away from Cas, sitting on the end of the bed, his legs tucked beneath him, staring into the mirror. He could see Cas looking at him, and watched as the angel once again moved to sit beside him. Cas placed a hand on Sam's shoulder, concern swimming in his blue eyes. "Talk to me Sam… I cannot help you if I don't know what you are feeling. How could I possibly know how to help if you do not talk to me?"

"I don't want to talk Cas," Sam said, pulling his shoulder away from Castiel's hand. It was a complete lie; Sam did want to talk, just not to Dean…or Cas. Hell, he was realizing that it was the angel who he needed to talk to more than anyone, but it was about Cas, the reason why he needed to talk to someone.

"You say that, but from what I can see Sam, it is not what you mean," Castiel said placing his hand back on Sam's shoulder and giving it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"What do you want from me Castiel?" Sam asked pulling away from the angel as he stood up, facing him. He towered over Cas where he sat on the bed, a mixture of confusion and concern in his blue eyes. "I'm trying here I really am. I want to talk but I just can't! Why don't you understand that?" Cas said nothing. Sam looked at Cas for a moment, then sighed and looked down. "I shouldn't have snapped like that… You're only trying to help."

"Why would I try and help you Sam?"

"Because I am as important as Dean is in your eyes, whether or not the rest of the angels see that or not does not matter."

"And?"

"And I need to stop second-guessing everything?"

"Especially yourself Sam. You should not put yourself down in such a way, it creates a weak point that others can use to their advantage."

"Like you?"

Castiel gave him a grin and shook his head. "I would not do that Sam, you should know that."

Sam looked at Castiel, just watching him for a moment. He wondered if it was possible that Castiel did care the way he seemed to imply he did. The next thing Sam knew, there was a pair of arms wrapped around him holding him close. The protective and caring embrace allowed Sam to relax into the angel's arms. Sam rested his head on Castiel's shoulder. "If you tell me to sleep I swear I'll hit you," Sam muttered, earning a soft chuckle from Castiel.

"Then I won't tell you to," Castiel said in a soft voice, letting his fingers run through Sam's hair in a comforting, soothing gesture. It did soothe Sam, relaxed him to a point where his muscles were no longer tense. "Feeling better Sam?"

Sam looked at him, and gave a small nod of his head, before he went back to using Castiel's shoulder as a pillow. "Still not going to talk…" Sam mumbled, rather comfortable and unwilling to move from the current position that he was in. In Castiel's arms he felt warm and safe.

"You do not have to talk right now, but eventually promise me that you will when you are ready," Castiel said, still stroking Sam's hair. "Can you do that?"

"I promise."

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Several hours later, Castiel was gone and Sam was alone, waiting for Dean to return from wherever he had gone. The door to the motel room opened and Sam looked up to see his big brother walk in, a bag in his hand with what smelled like food. "Long line for bacon cheeseburger?" Sam asked looking up from his laptop to meet Dean's gaze.

"Went for a drive," Dean said and placed the bag on the bed. It smelled like bacon cheeseburger. "Then got food."

"Please tell me there's something other than the cheeseburger in there," Sam asked pushing himself up into a sitting position. A grin formed on his face when Dean pulled out fries. "Can I have those?"

"Don't know, you sure they're not too fatty for you?"

"Shut up and hand over the fries Dean," Sam snapped holding out his hand for the fries which Dean eventually handed over. "Thanks."

"So what's up with you? Cas said you haven't been feeling well," Dean asked as he took out his burger and began to eat.

Sam paused; fry half way to his mouth before he lowered it, staring at the ground with a fixed gaze, concerned. There was no way that he was about to tell Dean that the kiss Cas had gave him had been screwing with his head, but what would be an acceptable answer that he could give his brother, one that he would believe. "Nightmares, been getting them again, keeping me awake at night, haven't been sleeping well."

There was a silence for a moment in which Sam thought that Dean hadn't fallen for the lie, when he heard a sigh come from his brother. "That would explain it. You don't appear to do well without sleep," Dean said with a light shrug. "Why haven't you told me about them?"

"Didn't want to worry you," Sam said simply with a light shrug of his shoulders. "Though you'll probably say that I should have told you right?"

"Yeah, you should have told me Sam," Dean sighed and shook his head. "Look if you want to talk about them all you have to do is say so."

"I'll keep that in mind," Sam said as he popped a fry into his mouth. "Lazy night tonight? Beers and movie?"

"If there's something good on TV yeah," Dean said before taking another bite of his burger as he stood up moving over to one of the two beds. "If Cas were here I'd offer him to join- " Before Dean could finish his sentence, Castiel appeared behind him, causing Dean to jump. "Damn it Cas how many times have I told you not to do that!"

Sam laughed as Cas gave Dean a confused look. "Forgive me, I simply came to check on you both…"

"It's fine… Hey we were gonna watch a movie, drink some beer, you know low key night. Care to join us?" Dean asked getting comfy on his bed.

"I do not see why not," Cas replied as he took a seat in the chair.

Sam got onto the bed and reached for the remote, his hand coming directly in contact with the wood of the nightstand that separated the two beds. Dean had gotten it before him. It meant that they would probably end up watching some action movie or something with hot, sexy girls in it. Sam didn't care, he'd probably end up falling asleep or Dean would and Sam would be able to change the channel. Either way Sam was just happy that he would be able to relax that night.